


Kissing You Goodbye

by HaleHole (SweetFanfics)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Derek Feels Guilty, M/M, Stiles is 16/17 here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 19:44:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5103404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetFanfics/pseuds/HaleHole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the right thing to do. He needs to leave. Get perspective. Spend some time away from Beacon Hills and figure out what he wants to do now that he’s not an Alpha. And most importantly, get to know Cora again, be a family again. </p><p> </p><p>So why does this hurt? Why does it hurt to see Stiles’ back turned towards him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kissing You Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Based off [this beautiful set](http://missmeeya.tumblr.com/post/60439003284/sterekboberek-sterek-au-after-one-night) that Brii made. What better way to thank a friend for suddenly unwanted feels than by trying to reciprocate those feels :)

Derek never feels more grateful for his supernatural grace and stealth than he does the moment when he slides out from under Stiles’ arm. The teenager, thankfully, does nothing as Derek slips out of the bed. His breathing remains deep and steady, breathing in and out as the werewolf carefully, oh so carefully, begins his final preparations.  
  


He puts his clothes back on, fingers hesitating a moment as he debates the wisdom of putting yesterday’s clothes back on before he decides that he wants Stiles’ scent on him. It will serve as a reminder and punishment for his selfish decision and actions. His weakness. And once Cora recognizes the scent, then Derek will have lingering glances and possibility a lecture in store as well.  
  


Before he tugs the shirt back in, Derek brings the material up to his nose and takes a sniff. There is the barest hint of Stiles clinging to the shirt, like the after-memory of a cologne. It won’t last for anything longer than a day, less if Derek sweats or covers the scent with his deodrant.  
  


The underwear and jeans come on next. His socks lie next to his boots, resting where he had pushed them off last night. Derek stares at the shoes, remembering the hurried rush of wanting to toe them off and the brush of Stiles’ amused laugh against his cheek.  _“Big bad werewolf can’t even take his shoes off?"_ Stiles had teased him, sliding down the bed until his knees had hit the floor.   
  


Derek remembers the feel of Stiles’ hands on his ankle, holding his foot steady as he pulled one boot off then the other before pulling the socks away. With great care, Derek sinks down into the very edge of the mattress and pulls his socks back on.   
  


He’s got one foot in his boot when the mattress shifts and dips behind him. His entire body freezes, not daring to look behind (out of shame, out of guilt, out of why the hell did he do what he did last night?) and see Stiles’ brown eyes looking up at him. There is one more shift of skin against cloth before silence reigns in the loft again.  
  


In small increments, Derek turns his head around. Stiles has simply turned over, resting on his side, facing the wall rather than Derek’s back. Like he’s saying good bye before Derek can. The lump that has been lingering in the back of Derek’s throat comes to the forefront, making it hard for him to swallow.  
  


This is the right thing to do. He needs to leave. Get perspective. Spend some time away from Beacon Hills and figure out what he wants to do now that he’s not an Alpha. And most importantly, get to know Cora again, be a family again.   
  


So why does this hurt? Why does it hurt to see Stiles’ back turned towards him?   
  


_‘Maybe because he’s the one person who’s been there for you?’_  His treacherous heart whispers to him. ’ _He’s never lied to you like the others. He’s always been brutally honest. You thought that out of everyone, he’d be the one to ask you to stay. And because he didn’t, it hurts.'_  
  


It could be that. It very well could be. A tiny part of him has hoped that someone, anyone, will ask him to stay. Stiles especially.  
  


With a hard shake of his head, Derek turns his eyes away from the purple marks his mouth and teeth have left on the nape of Stiles’ neck and back to his shoes. With a few viscous tugs, his boots are knotted and he’s ready to leave. All he needs to do is pick up his bag, walk out the door and let the pre-dawn hours hide him, what they’ve done, from the rising dawn.  
  


His body turns back towards Stiles, watching the slow expansion-contraction of his ribs before Derek thinks,  _'Just one more look’_. Selfish, selfish, selfish, his heart tsks at him but allows him the action. Derek doesn’t care if he’s being selfish. He just wants this memory.  
  


There hasn’t been a lot of good in his life, especially not when it comes to the people he’s slept with. So this? This is particularly special and if him wanting to remember how Stiles’ looks like in peaceful repose is selfish then so be it.   
  


Derek stands up, walks around the small bed and crouches down on Stiles’ side of the bed. His gaze sweeps over the lashes whose softness his gentle fingertips have learned of last night. His fingertips trace a line down Stiles’ face, remembering all the places where he’d pressed kisses to (forehead, eyes, cheekbone, nose, lips, chin). His thumb sweeps over Stiles’ parted lips, savoring the feel of warm air blowing over his skin.  
  


His hand twitches as it presses into Stiles’ neck, fingers cradling the relaxed jaw. He wants to peel the blankets back and revisit all the places that he’d found comfort in the night past. Derek wants to press his head on Stiles’ chest and-  
  


Going down that road is dangerous, especially now. So Derek stands up like a shot, ignoring the confused little noise Stiles makes at being jostled. The teenager mumbles something before stretching his legs and curling into himself. He looks so young, so  _at peace_  that Derek feels envious and relieved at the same time. Would that he could achieve the same.  
  


The back of two fingers slide against a pale cheek, brushing past a line of moles that he’d not given much thought to before but now won’t forget. Derek gives in one last time and steals one final kiss from Stiles’ lips before he whispers, "Good bye Stiles.”  
  


Coward that he is, that’s the only good bye he feels strong enough to give Stiles before he slips out.  
  


–

_'So I heard that you’re leaving.’_

_'Yeah.’_

_'Where to?’_

_'I don’t know.’_

_'Just a roadtrip to get away from u-the crazy? Get some family time in with Cora?’_

_'More or less. There’s… there’s something else I have to do too. And some time away would be… good.’_

_'I can understand that. … Are you. Do you plan on coming back?’_

_’… Maybe. I’m not sure.’_

_'So… I guess this is good bye then.’_

_'Yes.’_

_'It’ll be weird without you here.’_

_'But peaceful.’_

_'I seriously doubt that one. Haven’t you heard? Beacon Hills is gonna become an_ actual  _Beacon for the supernatural. I don’t think we’ll be having 'peaceful’ for a long while.’ …_ _'What’s with the face? Why do you look like someone ran your puppy over?’_

_'It’s my fault. If I ha-’_

_'Whoa, I’m gonna stop you right there because it wasn’t your fault. If anyone’s to blame it’s the Alphas and the Darach being all power trippy. Not you or me or anyone else. So don’t even try that with me.’_

_'You really believe that don’t you.’_

_'Of course I do. Because that’s the way it is.’_

_'You're really… something else.’_

_'Coming from you, I’ll take that as a compliment.’_

_'I’d better…’_

_'Wait! Um… before you go. Can I… Can we… oh screw it.’_

_'Stiles!’_

_'It’s just a hug, you big baby. Now shut up and hug me back.’ … 'See? That wasn’t so bad now was it?’_

_'No. No, it wasn’t.’_

_'No need to sound so enthusiastic about it. Heh, made you smile.’_

_'Shut up.’_

_'Make me. … Oookay. That just got awkward fast. I think I’m going to just… Er, Derek. This is the part where you let go of me so that I can go dig a hole for myself.’_

_'What if I don’t want to let you go.’_

_'I’d have to ask why.’_

_’…’_

_'Forget I asked that.’_

_'I just… want… you.’_

_'O-oh. You never…’_

_'Yeah. I know.’_

_'Do you like me or something?’_

_'Or something.’_

_'Huh. I never saw this one coming.’_

_'That makes two of us.’_

_'Keep that up and I’m gonna kick you outta here.’_

_'I’d like to see you try.’_

_'Just FYI but you’re terrible at flirting.’_

_'That wasn’t me flirting.’_

_'Somehow I’m not even surprised.’  
_

_'Stiles.’_

_'Wow, way to sound pissed. What?’_

_'Can I kiss you?’_

_'Look at you being all gentlemanly. Seems like only yesterday you were throwing me against the door and telling me to shut up. We’ve come a long wa-mmph!’_

_'Shut up, Stiles.’_

_'Make me.’_

**Author's Note:**

> Derek DOES come back to Beacon Hills after a few months but I never got around to writing that part 6u9 So at least rest assured that they do have a happy ending in the way end. Like Stiles wakes up, is hurt that Derek left and regrets he didn't tell Derek to stay but he didn't want to be selfish. And Derek writes and deletes a hundred mundane and meaningful messages to Stiles and before he knows its, its too late to say anything.
> 
> And then he comes back to town and its a touch awkward cuz wow how do you talk to someone who had a passionate one night stand with (slash someone who you lost your viriginity too lol) BUT DEREK AND STILES TALK, OUTSIDE UNDER THE STARS IN THIS ~M O O D~ and they talk/banter/work things out and the fic ends with them holding hands as Derek walks Stiles back.
> 
> Cuz im a sap that way.
> 
> ze end.


End file.
